Thegoodenoughmom

Bringing a little psychology into parenting

Friday responses to a new book — April 26, 2019

Friday responses to a new book

‘When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.‘ I like this quote by Lao-Tzu. I’m enjoying the book called ‘Tao Te Ching- the book of the way’.  It brings me back to simplicity and is quite a spiritual read. This particular quote I can associate with my parenting as well as other areas of life – with my friends, my colleagues or family for example. I have compared my parenting to that of my friends and sisters in law. I have felt as though I’m not as good a mother as them too. There is a security in comparison; perhaps I feel I’m doing something aspect of the job better than they are whereby I feel great about myself. Or I may feel like they are doing a better job than me and so I feel I should improve in that area of parenting. Either way, when I compare myself to others, I’m living from the outside in, rather from the inside out and I there is no peace to be gained from living from the outside in. Peace and harmony come from within. ‘It is the centre hole that makes the wagon move.’ (Another quote from The Master’).

Eckhart Tolle in his book ‘The Power of Now’ believes we should ‘surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.’ This quote resonated with me as I don’t often surrender to what is. I give out about stuff-the kids, my job, family, the weather- and wonder how things might different if it were not so. I think its a learnt and well practised behaviour by me. So I’m going to try to embrace this surrender and start to say ‘yes’ rather than ‘its a pity’.

This week I am going to try to embrace these quotes in my life. Do you want to give it a try? Lets see what happens……

— April 11, 2019
Some positive quotes —

Some positive quotes

I was at a relationship mentors conference at the weekend and I heard some lovely quotes that resonated with me and that I’ve tried to bring into my own life and into my parenting journey.

The first is to ‘Know yourself, know your child and make sure your child knows you.’ I like this because it gives me the opportunity to tell my kids about my life and my interests and it gives me permission to share with them how my day was and that how my day went is as important as theirs. I always try to know what they like/don’t like and what they are interested in and its nice to think that they might like to know mine too!

The other quote that resonated with me is a quote from Carl Jung which says ‘Possibly the greatest psychic effect on children is the life parents have not lived.’ This is strong for me. It reminds me of ‘happy mammy, happy baby!’ If there is something undercurrent within me, a need that has not been met for example, then the kids will hear all about it through my defensive behaviour. Ill be giving out them or not be present with them. My protectors are my solutions to threatening , terrifying relationship interactions. Whereas if my life is going well, then parenting is very easy! However I know that where I am is where I’m meant to be and I don’t judge myself on it.

That’s all for now folks!

Thanks, Charlene

 

Hi there fellow parent😉 — November 4, 2018

Hi there fellow parent😉

I’ve set up this site to share my journey on this path of parenting. I hope to bring a little of my recent learnings from a psychology course that I’ve done , into my daily life as a parent but also to myself. All parenting starts with self. Whatever comes up on a day to day basis with the kids or in work creates a response in me and that is what I try to focus on, ‘how did I feel when that happened?’ That response, that feeling, is where I learn all about me and who I really am. It’s not easy, some days are upsetting, but it’s great to notice my feelings and my responses and to know that they are mine. I try then not to project those feelings onto the kids and blame them or give out to them. My feelings belong to me, not the kids.

Please share your experiences or let me know if you’ve learnt anything about yourself through me sharing mine. Go gently with yourself….

The Journey Begins — October 23, 2018